I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she peed on how many people?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
