who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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