Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
