OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
