Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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