We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize