nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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