ugly people sure do ruin things
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
