he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
