DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
