I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just forgot I was standing up.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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