Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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