Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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