He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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