Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
