ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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