I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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