I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
