i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There r osticjed everywhere
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
