I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
