I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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