it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize