what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
