i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
