So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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