just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
