I hate your face
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
