Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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