high people should be assigned attendants
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sorry about my life...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize