This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
