dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
