can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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