How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
