i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize