just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
