So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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