You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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