sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
