Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
