But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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