Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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