Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
