OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize