we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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