Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
