dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
