Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
