just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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