pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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