I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We are two peas in an std pod
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
