so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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