I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
