So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
