All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
