bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
