so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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