Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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