I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
