Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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