You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
