No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
