Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize