so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
