his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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