He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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