so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
