He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
