and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
