She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
