Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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