Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
